Funny stories of sex and dating toucher and rich dating on demand
The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home"!*** A man, an ostrich, and a cat A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar.The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole. " He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first..." *** Getting Out of A Ticket A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.The bartender screams at the guy "Did you see what your monkey just did? " "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it! The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th.Some Things You Just Can't Explain A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk.A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?'The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together.
She has five more in a row, belts them all down, passes out dead drunk, and everybody in the bar fucks her.
The next night, she walks into the bar, and says, "Bartender, give me a triple Jack Daniel's." He gives her a triple Jack Daniel's, and she belts it down.
About an hour later the bartender goes back over to them and says, "What'll you guys have?
" The man says, "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." The bartender gets them their beer and says "That'll be .87." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him.
Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket." The man laughed and said, "Again?